James or Jim
James and I often tell the story, especially when we make new friends and they hear me call him Jim, about our arrival in New York and the competition we had with one another to see who would land a job first. James won and was hired for a position in the gift shop at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. The retail section of the Met already had a beloved Jim as a staff member so James decided to be known as, well, James. Everyone he met moving forward on the east coast has known him as James. On the west coast, he remains Jim.
Coming in second, I was hired by the Japanese Mission to the United Nations a few weeks later, and was known as Jennie-san. I also had a choice--Sheehan-san or Jennie-san--the Japanese do not use their first names but I liked the idea of a twist. I worked in the economic section that had an old-fashioned, bright red telephone plugged into the wall that was a direct line to government headquarters in Tokyo. One day, several months after I was hired, all the diplomatic officers were out of the office and I was alone in the room when the red phone rang. I walked over to it, picked it up and tentatively said, "Hello?" and there was a quiet pause and then, the person said, "Jennie-san?"
I have noticed that the team at Mt. Sinai are calling him Jim. I went through the story with them, explaining that his family on the west coast call him Jim but everyone here knows him as James. They were using James for the first day or so but I noticed today that everyone was calling him Jim. I thought that was super sweet, how easily they slid into using Jim with him--it feels right--because he's so much like my Jim, of my childhood and teenage years. I thought of a Jim Jarmusch film that James and I enjoyed with Iggy Pop toying with his name--it seems appropriate to provide the link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49tTzEifY6M
James was so adorable this evening.
Whenever the nurses prepare him for bed, I leave the room to give them space and when I return, he's always asleep. I either massage his feet or sit near the bed, waiting for him to wake-up. He opened his eyes tonight and I went and kneeled right by the side of his bed, so our faces were very close together. He was all tucked-in, looking so much like the preschool children that I taught right after I graduated from Cal (I toyed with the idea of being a early childhood educator). The little ones would wake up from their naps, sleepy-eyed and mum, ever so cuddly--it was the most magical time at the school because of the hush and the quiet conversations one would have with the half-in dream time children. I do not even recall what James and I were talking about. For some reason, the angle of his head allowed for his voice to sound quite clear. It was cozy and intimate--as close to home as we are allowed in a hospital.
He had another hard day of work in rehab. I caught the final session of the day with his occupational therapists. They were attempting to give him a cognitive test that involved reading but he was struggling to see the text. They realized that he needed a visual acuity evaluation. He wears bifocals but I think he is having difficulty using the muscles in his eyes to move them in the proper place to see correctly. His vision is not too bad but he's having problems with looking up and seeing peripherally. Over time, his eyes will improve and the therapists will focus on exercises to move him in the proper direction.
I was told that the team would like to try placing an exoskeleton bionic device on him tomorrow to help him walk. It is exactly as it sounds, a sort of robotic kit that is placed on his limbs and trunk to assist him with his balance and walking. I showed him a short video today and he seemed slightly amused by it. I would like to see this session--not sure when they plan to do it though and I am working tomorrow morning.
I am preparing the forms to receive funds from the New York State Paid Family Leave program. This program was initiated just this past January and provides financial support for individuals that may need to take a leave of absence from work for a period of time to support a family member. It is a new process for the staff at hospitals which are required to prepare part of the form. I received the completed form in the mail yesterday from Bellevue which I had had given to them several weeks ago!
I was reviewing the doctor's explanation of James's condition and realized that I had conveniently forgotten one of the surgical procedures he had on his brain. It was such a weird omission on my part. The moment I read the name of the procedure on the form (partial anterior lobectomy), I could see the young resident's face explaining the procedure to me. I simply tucked that procedure away for whatever reason, most likely, because it was difficult to accept that James would be debilitated by the procedure and would have to recover from it as well as the other two surgical interventions to remove the abscess. I actually reacquainted myself with the procedure this afternoon and realized that this is the reason why I was so emphatic that James would have brain "damage." I have used that word in conversations with friends and it has been shocking to the listeners. Everyone says, "Oh he will recover!"
I realize that I need to rephrase it as "debilitation" instead of "damage" for James will recover but to what degree is the question. Most lobectomies are performed to eliminate seizures in epileptic patients. There are studies with statistical analysis of the various types of recovery from the operation and its success rates with regard to seizures. I did not dig much deeper than the surface because I feel it does not really pertain to James's case in particular. I am accepting his recovery as it progresses and the identification of difficulties that arise as they manifest in the moment. I am not sure how useful case studies are to me now in this phase of his recovery.
I do hope that shines a little light on James's state with regard to the impact on his brain. I would hope that friends and family accept that James is a new person now and that he has so much to offer us just as he is and in his becoming. I find him a joy to be around.
Every new day is a discovery of the Jim I know and the future robo-James in the making!
Coming in second, I was hired by the Japanese Mission to the United Nations a few weeks later, and was known as Jennie-san. I also had a choice--Sheehan-san or Jennie-san--the Japanese do not use their first names but I liked the idea of a twist. I worked in the economic section that had an old-fashioned, bright red telephone plugged into the wall that was a direct line to government headquarters in Tokyo. One day, several months after I was hired, all the diplomatic officers were out of the office and I was alone in the room when the red phone rang. I walked over to it, picked it up and tentatively said, "Hello?" and there was a quiet pause and then, the person said, "Jennie-san?"
I have noticed that the team at Mt. Sinai are calling him Jim. I went through the story with them, explaining that his family on the west coast call him Jim but everyone here knows him as James. They were using James for the first day or so but I noticed today that everyone was calling him Jim. I thought that was super sweet, how easily they slid into using Jim with him--it feels right--because he's so much like my Jim, of my childhood and teenage years. I thought of a Jim Jarmusch film that James and I enjoyed with Iggy Pop toying with his name--it seems appropriate to provide the link here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=49tTzEifY6M
James was so adorable this evening.
Whenever the nurses prepare him for bed, I leave the room to give them space and when I return, he's always asleep. I either massage his feet or sit near the bed, waiting for him to wake-up. He opened his eyes tonight and I went and kneeled right by the side of his bed, so our faces were very close together. He was all tucked-in, looking so much like the preschool children that I taught right after I graduated from Cal (I toyed with the idea of being a early childhood educator). The little ones would wake up from their naps, sleepy-eyed and mum, ever so cuddly--it was the most magical time at the school because of the hush and the quiet conversations one would have with the half-in dream time children. I do not even recall what James and I were talking about. For some reason, the angle of his head allowed for his voice to sound quite clear. It was cozy and intimate--as close to home as we are allowed in a hospital.
He had another hard day of work in rehab. I caught the final session of the day with his occupational therapists. They were attempting to give him a cognitive test that involved reading but he was struggling to see the text. They realized that he needed a visual acuity evaluation. He wears bifocals but I think he is having difficulty using the muscles in his eyes to move them in the proper place to see correctly. His vision is not too bad but he's having problems with looking up and seeing peripherally. Over time, his eyes will improve and the therapists will focus on exercises to move him in the proper direction.
I was told that the team would like to try placing an exoskeleton bionic device on him tomorrow to help him walk. It is exactly as it sounds, a sort of robotic kit that is placed on his limbs and trunk to assist him with his balance and walking. I showed him a short video today and he seemed slightly amused by it. I would like to see this session--not sure when they plan to do it though and I am working tomorrow morning.
I am preparing the forms to receive funds from the New York State Paid Family Leave program. This program was initiated just this past January and provides financial support for individuals that may need to take a leave of absence from work for a period of time to support a family member. It is a new process for the staff at hospitals which are required to prepare part of the form. I received the completed form in the mail yesterday from Bellevue which I had had given to them several weeks ago!
I was reviewing the doctor's explanation of James's condition and realized that I had conveniently forgotten one of the surgical procedures he had on his brain. It was such a weird omission on my part. The moment I read the name of the procedure on the form (partial anterior lobectomy), I could see the young resident's face explaining the procedure to me. I simply tucked that procedure away for whatever reason, most likely, because it was difficult to accept that James would be debilitated by the procedure and would have to recover from it as well as the other two surgical interventions to remove the abscess. I actually reacquainted myself with the procedure this afternoon and realized that this is the reason why I was so emphatic that James would have brain "damage." I have used that word in conversations with friends and it has been shocking to the listeners. Everyone says, "Oh he will recover!"
I realize that I need to rephrase it as "debilitation" instead of "damage" for James will recover but to what degree is the question. Most lobectomies are performed to eliminate seizures in epileptic patients. There are studies with statistical analysis of the various types of recovery from the operation and its success rates with regard to seizures. I did not dig much deeper than the surface because I feel it does not really pertain to James's case in particular. I am accepting his recovery as it progresses and the identification of difficulties that arise as they manifest in the moment. I am not sure how useful case studies are to me now in this phase of his recovery.
I do hope that shines a little light on James's state with regard to the impact on his brain. I would hope that friends and family accept that James is a new person now and that he has so much to offer us just as he is and in his becoming. I find him a joy to be around.
Every new day is a discovery of the Jim I know and the future robo-James in the making!
I imagine he has an image somewhere in his files of someone using one of these. I would like to think the "old Jim" would be amused that he would one day be outfitted with one.
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